My Milk Mercy

Tonight, my mom reminded me that I was out of milk, and that I needed to go get some. I'm glad that she gave me something to do. Earlier today I was supposed to go help out with a service project, but I somehow forgot that I had a school assignment due at 6pm, so I had to stay home and do that. Since I missed out on the service project, I had this feeling of emptiness, like I hadn't done anything productive in the day. This feeling was starting to grow into a plain negative and low spirited vibe, so I was happy to follow my mom's orders and get out.

"Where to go?" I thought. I could go to Frys, which is so close, I could go to Walmart, or I could go to WinCo!!! I thought driving by the Gilbert Temple would lighten my spirit, so I eliminated Frys from the mix, and now the decision was between Walmart or WinCo. Well, WinCo has the word WIN in it, so that should obviously be my choice if I want to be a WINNER at life, right? Plus, it's way more spacious than Walmart, and I like spacious buildings (as long as they are NOT Great and Spacious Buildings). 

Once I got to WinCo, I traveled the long journey through the store to where the milk is located, grabbed my lactose/fat free carton, and traveled back to the front. I usually like to use those fancy self check-outs, but to my dismay, they were closed for the night. There was only one register open, so I got in line behind a woman with a large array of groceries. Not only did she have a lot of groceries, but A LOT of coupons to go with those! And there I stood, with my one carton of milk...

Finally, the long line up of her groceries was nearly over, but then, that woman received a phone call. Oh goody! I could see the annoyed look in the employees eyes as she struggled to communicate with the woman that her coupons were not valid. I heard the man standing behind me comment on how rude it is when people are on the phone while going through the check-out line. I was starting to feel impatient myself, but as I listened to the woman's phone conversation, I could tell that there was some distress in her voice. I overheard her mentioning a couple of medical terms, and asking whoever she was talking to if her daughter knew about this. 

The employee was still annoyed as she waited for the woman to pay for her groceries, and her annoyed state only grew stronger when the woman gave her the wrong amount of money at first. Finally as the employee was giving this woman her receipt, the woman hung up the phone, and then apologized. She said she was sorry for her behavior, and that she had to take the call because her husband was in the hospital. The employee just nodded and pointed to where the woman's groceries were (because at WinCo, you bag your own groceries). 

Next the employee quickly rang up my milk in less than a minute. I walked to the bagging end, to grab my milk and noticed that the woman with the endless amount of groceries had not even started bagging hers yet. I asked her if she would like some help, and she looked up at me and said "Oh no thanks, I've held you up enough." with a little nervous laugh, but her eyes were watery with tears. 

When I see people cry, I get all choked up myself, (and I was already a little choked up from not being in the brightest of moods), so all I could do was smile at her, and completely ignore her rejection to my help. Thankfully, she didn't get upset, and just let me help her. We also took her groceries out to her car. When we were all finished up, she thanked me. All I said was "Oh, no problem", but I wish I would have told her that I was the one that needed to be thankful. 

This little experience at WinCo is what I needed tonight. It gave me an opportunity to serve. It helped me steer my thoughts away from the things that were pressing on my mind, and filled me with love. It reminded me of the importance of being faithful, kind, patient to anyone we meet, because we don't always know what kind of day they have had or what limitations they may be struggling with. Marvin J Aston said:“If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.” And just like with others, we need to be faithful and patient with ourselves, and the circumstances we experience everyday, because we don't always know what is in store for us. We can't always see through Heaven's eyes. We don't always know Heavenly Father's plan for us at the moment, but He is always in control, and His plan is always perfect. 

Asian Dinner-Just Because

Sometimes Heavenly Father sends us little messages of love "just because".

The other night, I stayed at school late for a study session for one of my classes. As I was riding the dark, cold bus home, I felt very...dark and cold. The stresses of upcoming tests were getting a hold of my thoughts, I wasn't feeling too well, I was tired and hungry, and I just wanted to get home. 

I said a silent prayer on that bus, thanking Heavenly Father that I had gotten through the day, and asking that I would endure the rest of my journey home.

The bus finally got to the ASU Polytechnic campus at about 8:45pm, and my loving parents were already there to pick me up and take me home. 

When we got home, I asked what they ate for dinner, and they said that they had picked up some food from Pei Wei.

Yes! Asian dinners for the win! That news alone just about made my day. There is something really fun about eating Asian food for me! Anyone reading this probably thinks I'm really weird now, but I can't deny my excitement over oriental sustenance! 

My mom told me about how they had even given us an extra meal, with a note on it that said "Just Because". 

"Oh that's nice of them. Why do you think they did that?" I asked.

My mom told me that she really didn't know, but that it was a wonderful little blessing for my dad. My dad had wanted to try a new dish, but ended up not, so he could buy the dish I always like to eat, because he knew I had a long day. But the dish they ended up giving us for free was the one he wanted to try. 

I thought that was pretty cool, but then, my mom told me why it meant even more. My dad had just been transferred that day. He had been managing at his store for 8 yrs, and now, it was time for him to leave and manage a new store with new employees and new goals. 

I thought I had a rough day, but after that, I knew that my dad had his share of challenge as well. 

That night, I thanked Heavenly Father for the "Just Because" that saved both mine, and my dad's day. The small, "Just Because" treats in our days give us courage to take on the days to come. 

I don't want you to be alone

I think sometimes we have those days when we feel lonely.

This week, I have found myself dearly missing some friends who are on their missions right now. They are some of the best friends I have ever had. The love that these friends showed me was incredible and I have no doubt they are showing that same love to the people they are serving right now.

I couldn't be more grateful for the times they would do things like randomly show up at my house, "kidnap" me, and take me to Bahama Bucks or something! I must say though, their "kidnapings" were not always so random, because they seemed to take me out on the nights where I really needed an extra boost. I am so grateful for their example, and the lesson they helped teach me of being aware of those we love.

Sometimes, life is a bit overwhelming. To be honest, almost every night this week, I have wished they would come to my door and take me away in their loving friendship, and give me that boost I need to carry on. I've allowed myself to become a little discouraged and lonely as I've just stayed at home studying with my other "friend": my pathophysiology textbook...

One night, I felt pretty lonely. On top of my loneliness, I felt guilt; guilt for feeling lonely. How could I feel lonely!? I have been blessed with so many things in my life. I am surrounded by a loving family. I'm not totally friendless, I still have friends, don't I? I'm never truly alone, I have the Savior. I shouldn't feel lonely, I don't really have a good reason to, right? I was determined to tell myself that I wasn't lonely, and that I had nothing to worry about. 

That didn't go over so well...but I tried...haha

Along came another long day, and the next night, both my brothers were busy and my parents were about to go out to eat. I was going to stay at home...alone. My mom knew I had been in the house all day studying, and asked me if I wanted to join them for dinner so I could get out. At first, I declined her offer. What if someone texted me and invited me to do something tonight? That's what I had been waiting for, right? If I went with my parents, I might miss out on something I had been waiting for. 

Upon my rejection, my mom asked why I didn't want to come. When I told her why, she said: "But Nicole, if no one texts you, you're just gonna sit here all alone. I don't want you to be alone."

I'm an easy crier, and her last sentence triggered the tears. I told my mom about how I had been feeling lonely lately, and she said that she could tell. Both my mom and dad gave me some words of comfort, and encouraged me to act on these lonely feelings, instead of waiting for a solution to take them away. After that I went to dinner with my parents, and had a wonderful night with them. They truly gave me the love I needed that night. 

After telling my mom about my feelings of loneliness, I didn't feel ashamed, I felt better. 

Sometimes, I think we feel that we need to hide our loneliness. We certainly do not want to talk about it. It is something that almost everyone understands, but it can be so quickly accused of as self-pity. We don't want to be wallowing in self pity. Sometimes, we may even try to hide our loneliness from our own selves. Whether we believe we have good reason for being lonely or not, if the feeling is there, we need to address it. 

When we try to hide our loneliness, it can continue to build, and weigh us down with criticizing or negative thoughts. When we choose to accept that we are lonely, we can make a plan of how to fight it. This plan can consist of choosing to fill our lives with things like love and service towards others. Sometimes it can take a great deal of humility to be able to say that we have felt lonely, but it is the humility that brings us to a perspective that allows us to look upward. As we look up, it is easier to see the small things in our lives that can fill our hearts and overflow any empty spaces. Much like my mom could already tell how I felt, Heavenly Father knows how we feel as well. As we pray to him, we can find peace and solutions to the troubles we may face. Heavenly Father loves us, and as we seek him through any trial we may face, he will give us small assurances that seem to say "I don't want you to be alone." 

Questions and Answers!

My friend Kathy Hsu from Just a Bit of Happy (http://justabitofhappy.blogspot.com/) awarded me with something called a Liebstar Award. I had no idea what this meant so I looked it up! Apparently the word "liebstar" is of German origin and means things like "dearest, sweetest, kindest, nicest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing". So Thanks Kathy!!! Anyway, she gave me these questions, and I am supposed to answer them, then come up with questions for another blogger. So here are the answers to my questions.

1. Who inspires you, and why?

My brothers inspire me! Uh, why? Good question...just kidding! They inspire me because they have always been wonderful examples to me. I constantly see them doing all they can to work hard, and to help others along their way. They are true disciples of Christ. I know that they go through many trials in their own lives, but they seem to face each day with courage. Plus, they have a great sense of humor! They help me see the funny things in life, and for that, I am grateful!

2. What's an embarrassing moment you've experienced?

My perhaps most embarrassing moment took place when I was 15 years old. I was your average sophomore at Higley High School. Okay, maybe not your average...I was really small and a bit nerdy (but what else is new?). Anyway, it was football season and Higley was about to have a game against our rivals, Williams Field High School. We were having this huge pep rally on a Friday morning, and it was so important that 3TV news had to be there. I was sitting in the football stands with my friends, just glad that this pep rally was taking away class time. A news anchor was out on the football field with the varsity football team, passing the ball around, looking good on camera and such. In the meantime, the cheerleaders were throwing out free T-shirts into the stands. Who doesn't like a free T-shirt, especially a Higley High T-shirt? While almost every one's attention was on the free T-shirts being tossed into the stands, the news anchor got hold of the ball, and decided to look cool my throwing the football into the stands, hoping some lucky student would catch it. This was not a smart idea since no one was paying attention to him at all. It turns out that I was the lucky student! Except, I didn't catch it...it hit me in the head and I blacked out...AND it was all on the news!!! How embarrassing! AND painful!!! I remember some guy on the football team coming up to me at lunch a couple of days after that happened and asking me if I was the girl that got hit in the head. I reluctantly said yes, and he just laughed and walked away. To make matters worse, the school video news (that aired during 2nd hour each Friday morning), felt it important to incorporate the 3TV news clip of me getting hit in the head with the football in their broadcast. Looking back, it was an embarrassing, yet funny experience, and most people don't even remember anymore. (Except maybe now, since I just brought it up.) Nevertheless, watching 3TV news has never been the same for me...

3. What frightens you beyond belief?

There are many things that frighten me in this life. Spiders, scorpions, the creepy guys that lurk around Downtown Phoenix at night (where I go to school), my brother Scott, Chemistry tests, ect. But what perhaps frightens me the most...are...GERMS!!! That's right, germs! I know they are everywhere, believe me I do, but I still try to keep myself as free as I can from the nasty ones! I think microbes are pretty cool, and after taking one semester of Microbiology, I honestly thought about switching my major in order to become a microbiologist. I loved working in the lab with these microorganisms. I just don't like what they can do to my body! I think I win the award for the driest hands, because I wash them so much. (Which also isn't good because then I'm killing off the oils that keep them supple, and the dryness leaves them more open to microbes entering my system through small cuts! Ahhh!). I could go on and on about different bacteria, viruses, ect., but I don't want to scare myself anymore than I have to...haha!

4. What is something you've tried once, but would rather never try/do again?
This one time I ate food from "Someburros", and I didn't like it. I will probably never try that again.

5. What song makes you cry every time?

There is a song from a 2008 Young Women CD that I have called "Mercies" by Jenny Phillips. It is beautiful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Sg-di8zZHk

6. If you could show your blog to anyone specifically, who would it be?
I would want to show my blog to any of my friends. I would want them to see it so they could get an inside glimpse on the life of Nicole. Since I am so secretive...just kidding!

7. If you were famous for something, what would it be?

I would want to be famous for doing something that would inspire people. I would love to be someone like Lindsey Stirling. Maybe I could just be the "viola" version of her! Or I'd even like to be famous like Stephen J. Stirling for that matter. That man is an amazing seminary teacher, and sure made a huge impact on my life. He's pretty famous in my eyes. I would want to be famous for bringing peace to weary souls, and for helping others see their own potential. Or I'd even like to be famous for setting some obscure world record...that'd be cool.

8. What do you enjoy about blog writing so far?

I enjoy being able to write about things that may be challenging for me, and then realize how much I have seen the Lord's hand in my life. I really like being able to write straight from the heart in a positive way. At least...I hope it is positive.

9. In what ways do you want your blog to grow?

I am not too concerned about my blog growing at this point. I hope I can help refer other's back to their Heavenly Father through the different events of day to day life, as I share my sometimes large or small experiences. Or maybe it can even become a source of amusement for those who are having a boring day. Either way, I hope to make people smile.

10. If someone asked you about blogging, what would you tell them?

I would tell them that I just started, and ask them if they knew anything about it! Haha. I am still trying to learn the ropes. Still, I would probably tell them that I think it is a great way to share and obtain knowledge.

So that about wraps up all my questions. Sorry some of the answers were so lengthy! I guess now I am supposed to pass this award onto someone else, I couldn't think of anyone better than my dear friend Ami Blamires at http://okieoutofwater.blogspot.com/! Plus, I think Ami is filled with such wise answers! So here are your questions Ami:

1. Do you "okie's" usually reside in water?

2. On average, how often do people incorrectly pronounce your name? Do you care?

3. What is your ideal choice of transportation?

4. What was your favorite song in High School, and will you still jam out to it now?

5. What is the number one thing you want to do before you die?

6. What is your favorite thing to consume?

7. What will you never do again?

8. What is your best/ favorite joke?

9. How do you feel about dances?

10. If you could give a newborn child advice about life, what would it be?

Enjoy!

Love You Forever, Like You For Always

First things first: Happy Valentines Day!!!

Back in the elementary days, I remember my mom taking me to Target (or some place of the like) to pick out valentine cards to give out to my classmates. The decision was always crucial. You wanted to go with something fun, clever, containing a hint of cuteness, but not too overbearing! And unless you wanted to be teased, anything with "Nick Jr." characters on it was a definite "no-go". 

Yes, I would dare to say that Valentines Day is stressful for even the little ones. Not only was there the stress of giving out your valentine cards, but there was the pressure of receiving a valentine from everyone else in the class as well. "Wait, Sally didn't give me a valentine...Does she not want to be my friend anymore? Is she gonna kick me out of the 'Harry Potter reenactments club' at recess now!?!? No! I make a great Hermione!!!" And once I got a little older, and it was no longer the thing to distribute valentine cards, "candy grams" were thrown into the mix. As if it isn't bad enough to not receive a candy gram from anyone, but do you have to deliver 8 to Sally right in the middle of class? Haha. 

Despite the content of my last two paragraphs, I don't hate Valentines Day at all! Sure, it can be awkward at times, but it really is such a fun day! I appreciate the love and friendship that is shared and noticed on this day! I'm grateful for my mom, who likes to make heart shaped sugar cookies. for my dad who always buys flowers for my mom, and who has kept the tradition of buying me a valentines teddy bear each and every year (I have quite the collection...haha). I'm grateful for my brothers who...uh...well...I'm sure they love me and don't hate me... In general, I love all the love that is shared on this day! 

So, what is LOVE? 

No, not "baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more."! 

Is love what we see in the movies? Is love taking a bullet for someone else? Is it just something we say? Is it really liking someone, but only when things are smooth sailing? Is it proven by giving our older brother a back massage? (Scott seems to think so). 

When I was little, my mom used to read my brothers and I a story book by Robert Munsche. To this day, it is still a favorite of ours! It is called "Love You Forever".

The story starts out with a mother holding her new son in her arms, rocking him back and forth singing:
"I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."

The mother continues to sing this song to her son throughout his life. Even with the craziness he brings during his various stages and phases, she takes the time to express this love. This continues until the mother herself becomes old and ill, and the son is able to drive out to her house, rock her back and forth, and sing the special song.

This story has always warmed my heart as I've though about the immense amount of love that this mother had for her son. Now that I'm older, it reminds me of the love that my mother and father show me, even though I am no where near perfect.

Over the course of the past year, I've had the opportunity to experience two challenges that have caused me to feel very unloved at first, but then have grown into a "proving" of how loved I am. The first was an especially challenging time in my life, and I'll admit that I had never felt so broken-hearted or completely shattered. Even though that doesn't sound too comforting, I couldn't be more grateful for that time, and for the experience I was given. During that time in my life, I learned how much I really need Christ. I have always believed in Christ, and loved him, but during that time, I felt my trust an faith in the Savior grow, my gratitude overflow, and felt his enabling strength fill my soul. I know He lives, and that He never leaves us alone. He is peace. Christ's love says "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always."

Many months passed by, and Heavenly Father's plan for my life continued, with new challenges and opportunities. Then came the 2nd heartbreak. I tried to be calm, but it was hard to accept that something like this was happening again. Before I had the chance to tell anyone of my news, my mom walked into my room. Once she saw my face, I knew that she knew what was happening in my life. She held me in her arms while I let out some tears. She even sent my brothers up to comfort me and make me laugh. That night, I remember my dad looking me straight in the eye and reassuring me that I was a beautiful Daughter Of God. Even though my heart now felt empty again, the way that my family cared for and uplifted me at that time seemed to say "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always." 

Throughout my life, Heavenly Father has sent me little messages of "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always." He has sent it through trials that have helped me grow and given me experience, and he has sent it through the many joys of my life. He has sent it through things that are deep and personal in me, and he has sent it through the people I meet in my life. He has also sent it through his Son.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

Christ was the perfect example of love. His love knows no bounds. This love of Christ is true.

"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him." (Moroni 7:45-47). 

Charity is the most important kind of love we can every give or receive. It is the foundation for the kind of love that states "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always". I am so grateful for the many times in my life that I have received this love. I receive it on a daily basis. I receive it through Christ, I receive it through my family, I receive it through friends, I even receive it through complete strangers. Am I giving as much as I receive? Better yet, am I giving more? 

I hope I can always remember to be charitable in all I do. I know it changes lives, because it has sure changed mine. Charity can be given to all. It can be shared in our friendships with others, it can be shared by the way we communicate with strangers, it can be shared when we choose to love those who may have hurt or disappointed us, when we choose to laugh things over instead of getting upset at someone, and it can be shared within our intimate family relationships. Jeffrey R. Holland talks about the need for a Christlike love in our intimate relationships in his talk "How Do I Love Thee?". http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=326

I wish everyday we would remember to express love as we do on Valentines day. I guess it's just like Christmas, how we focus so much on the Savior during that time, but Christ should be a focus everyday as well. I am so grateful for all the love I have been shown in my life. Even the small little acts of love have made the hugest difference in my days. 

So Happy Valentines Day everyone! Don't forget to tell and show someone "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always." 

-Nicole :)

* I would like to point out that I have nothing against Sally. She is a fictional classmate. 

Of Humble Beginnings

For some time now, I have often contemplated creating a blog. "Contemplated" is the key word...because I did nothing about it. Just recently, the thought of starting a blog was pressing my mind more than ever. I tried to think of many reasons for NOT giving in to blogging. "I'm not the most eloquent writer. I don't have time for a blog, do I? What if I don't keep up with it? What if no one wants to read my blog? What if people do read my blog, and see how weird I am?! What if I misspell a simple word, and people judge me!!!???! ". Those were just a few of my setbacks, and they were just enough to convince me to not go through with it. A few days later, I logged on to lds.org to get in some extra spiritual nourishment for the day. Upon scrolling down the homepage, I saw the heading of an article that said "Creating Your Own Blog".

I scrolled past it with haste, wanting to forget that I even saw it! I didn't need to read it, right? I could be much more spiritually uplifted reading an Elder Holland talk, and I needed to find one, quick! In the search bar, I tried to type out "Holland" but as my fingers moved with speed, I hit the "u" button after the "h" (the "h" which was meant for Holland of course). I noticed my typo right away, but as I tried to fix it, this "h-u" in the search bar brought up the first matching word..."Humility".

Another slap to the face! What does it mean to be humble? I once read a quote by Ezra Taft Benson that said "Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right." Wait, was I somehow being prideful? I was just thinking of why I shouldn't go through with creating a blog. Seeing it the way I understand things! I was right!

...And there was my problem. I was being prompted to do something, and wouldn't listen. I was leaning unto my own understanding, and not trusting in the Lord, and his little promptings. And if I've learned anything yet in my life, I've learned that it is by trust and faith that we can drown out all the little "but, what if"s about life, no matter how great or small.

Maybe I just think too much, but what a great little lesson about humility!

I decided to go back and read the "Creating Your Own Blog" article, since I had no idea how to do so! Turns out, reading that little article uplifted me more than I would have imagined, and inspired me to uplift others in my own writings.

So this is my blog...of humble beginnings! The title of this blog has a very important meaning to me! It is by the small and simple things that great things are brought to pass. The small tender mercies of the Lord are beautiful miracles that remind us that we are children of God. Sometimes the craziness of life can leave me feeling very small, and maybe a little too simple. But remembering that I am a child of God, and that everyone I meet is a child of God, gives me hope that great things are to come! The small and the simple is beautiful! Life is beautiful! So here is to a journey of finding joy in the small and simple things!

-Nicole :)