Don't Fall For a Willoughby

*SPOILER ALERT: The following post may give away details about Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility. It may also include summaries of Nicole's dating life. Proceed with caution.*

The other night, I was feeling a lack of romance in my life, and figured that a romantic fiction is as close as I could get at this point. So, I decided to watch one of my favorite movies: Sense and Sensibility!!! (If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it! In fact, I'd be happy to watch it with you.)

I admit it, I'm one of THOSE GIRLS who loves a good dose of Jane Austen! Surprisingly, even my brother Scott kept me company, and watched some of it with me. As we were watching this classy film, Scott made sure to make numerous comments; most making fun of the plot, characters, or expressing how the scene "should have gone". But, after one scene that portrayed Ms. Marianne Dashwood brokenhearted and in despair, Scott turned to me and said...

"See Nicole, DON'T FALL FOR A WILLOUGHBY".

But...who is Willoughby? What is a "Willoughby"?

Is a Willoughby a guy who breaks my heart? A guy who constantly texts another girl while I'm on a date with him? A guy who wants to take me on a "date", but ends up bringing another girl with him? A guy who flirts with and is surrounded by so many other female "friends", that I'm just an unimportant addition to the collection? A guy who makes my life feel like a Taylor Swift song???

Is this a Willoughby?

No, that's a Wallaby! (insert pity laugh here). What is a Willoughby? Well, this is Willoughby:

I must say, he looks pretty handsome with his nice dark hair, bold brows, and Georgian era style! He is also very well spoken and charming.

But, why has my goodly brother advised me not to fall for such a man?

At first, I thought Scott was just making a silly comment. But as I thought about his statement more, I felt the love my brother has for me when he said it.

Dear ole Scott has seen me through some of my dating mishaps! He has even seen me at times when I've felt like Marianne Dashwood.

(Except my face would look more like a mixture of Niagara Falls and Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer)

When I took this into consideration, I realized Scottie wants the best for his little sister! How nice! So I began to examine what makes a Willoughby, and what I should be careful with. Here are some things I came up with.

1. Willoughby: The hero. 
Willoughby and Marianne's first meeting took place as he came to her rescue. The silly girl decided to go for a walk during a storm, and ended up tripping and twisting her ankle. Willoughby came riding up on his horse, found her in her distress, and brought her home safely.

What a great deed! He definitely gets some brownie points here, but, this is a place to be cautious. Of course, not every guy who does a good deed for a girl, or appears to be a hero after a hard time, is secretly out to deceive her. But, it doesn't mean that they are THE knight in shining armor. While we can be extremely grateful, perhaps one should not become caught up in love at this point.



2. Willoughby is quite the Charmer.
This man seems perfect. He is handsome, has a romantic personality, reads poetry, and is full of fun. This is something that can feel very refreshing! But, there are other personality traits to examine other than "charming". There are other qualities too, for happiness!

3. Willoughby's behavior
It is important to not only examine how someone treats you, but also how they treat others. At one point in the movie, Willoughby begins to make fun of Colenol Brandon (who is perhaps the most noble man in the story). Not cool Willoughby, not cool...

4. Willoughby leaves.
Willoughby ends up suddenly leaving Marianne. Later on we find out his reasons for doing so, but he was not honest with her at first. He just fled. This is like a guy who leads a girl on, and then just leaves...as if nothing happened.

5. Willougby is unresponsive.
After Willoughby suddenly leaves, Marianne tries to contact him, to see where their love stands. But he doesn't respond to her letters. This leaves Marianne waiting, and devastated. Waiting like this isn't fun.

Later on, Marianne once again sees Willoughby face to face at a ball, greets him pleasantly, but asks why he has not responded to her. He tries to avoid her, gives a lame "I've been busy" kind of excuse, then walks away to be with another girl. Ouch! It isn't until the next day that Willoughby sends her a cold letter telling her that his affections have been long engaged elsewhere. Pretty much breaking up through text. Once again, not cool, and kind of cowardly.

6. Implied but never Declared. 
This point is crucial! Willoughby was never clear to Marianne about what his intentions were. In the past, I thought actions could speak louder than words, and a person was to show you that you meant something to them. But I have since learned the importance of communication as well. Willoughby made everyone believe that he loved Marianne, but, he coldly left her. This made Marianne feel upset with herself I'm sure, believing that Willougby had technically "broken no vow."

Marianne: No—he is not so unworthy as you think him.

Elinor: Not so unworthy! Did he tell you that he loved you?
Marianne: Yes. No—never absolutely. It was every day implied, but never declared. 

Sometimes I thought it had been, but it never was. He has broken no vow.
Elinor: He has broken faith with all of us, he made us all believe he loved you!
Marianne: He did! He did—he loved me as I loved him.

Willoughby made Marianne cry! If only he knew the counsel by Thomas S. Monson. :)

7. Willoughby just isn't nice! 
It is finally revealed why Willoughby did what he did. It is also revealed that he had a scandalous and sinful past where he abandoned another girl. How sad. Now, in this case, it did turn out that Willoughby did indeed genuinely love Marianne, and wanted to marry her, but under his circumstances, he chose the money instead. So he loved Marianne, but, "Not enough, not enough."

And those are just some of the characteristics of a Willoughby. He is not full of all bad traits, but there are some things to be careful of.

Not every single guy I meet will be a Willoughby, and I would hate to be one who overly judges people and their situations. But I can sure let my experience turn sensibility into sense, and let my sense be softened into sensibility. Both are needed.

I am thankful for my wise brother who even jokingly said that little statement, "Don't fall for a Willoughby". He probably didn't think his comment would inspire deeper thought on my part.

So don't be a Willoughby, and don't fall for a Willoughby.

...Go for Colonel Brandon he is kind, nobel, ...and rich!!! ;)